Just before turning 16 days, I graduated from the oscialating ventilator directly to a CPAP machine. I have two types of masks; one is nasal prongs which I don't like at all. This is a picture of me with my nasal prongs mask. Doesn't look too comfortable does it ? My favorite mask is my beak. But, my beak pushes on my upper lip and that's not good either. So, I have to put up with the prongs because I will feel and look better later.
I was really good with the medical procedure. They took my tube out and I let out some very hefty cries and filled up my lungs really full and told those doctors how I felt. Then they put on my beak with a little bit of oxygen and that felt nice. I went to sleep until Mommy and Daddy came back to the hospital to tuck me in for the night.
I woke up the next morning feeling kind of cranky and jittery. I don't know why. As it turns out, they gave me caffiene to make sure I didn't get too comfy and forget to breathe. Well, I wiggled and pushed up on my knees to baby rock and I turned my head from one side to the other and I flailed about with my arms and legs and then I flexed my hands into little fists and then straightened my fingers all the way out. And all the time I was breathing and fussing and all that sutff. My nurses were not too happy. I was not happy either. But, then Mommy and Daddy came and we all took naps together. I was getting very tired.
When we woke up from our naps. We all felt very good. I rested and slept some more. (It's what babies do.) And then, guess what I did . . . . .
That's right, I met my Mommy and cuddled in her arms. She's really big compared to me. It was scary at first and I cried. But, then I heard that familiar thumpety thump and settled right in so that Mommy would hold me very still. Daddy took my picture with his phone. Then, I needed to go back to my little world. Remember, I am still very little and can get over stimulated easily. (Can you say caffiene drip?)
I can't believe I can do so many big things. I wonder what other nice things will happen to me. In the last three days, I drank Mommy's milk, made a dirty diaper, re-learned how to breathe, graduated to CPAP and was held in Mommy's arms all for the first time. I think that's a full schedule. Time to sleep, I am exhausted.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
16 Days Old - I Did It . . .
Just before turning 16 days, I graduated from the oscialating ventilator directly to a CPAP machine. I have two types of masks; one is nasal prongs which I don't like at all. This is a picture of me with my nasal prongs mask. Doesn't look too comfortable does it ? My favorite mask is my beak. But, my beak pushes on my upper lip and that's not good either. So, I have to put up with the prongs because I will feel and look better later.
I was really good with the medical procedure. They took my tube out and I let out some very hefty cries and filled up my lungs really full and told those doctors how I felt. Then they put on my beak with a little bit of oxygen and that felt nice. I went to sleep until Mommy and Daddy came back to the hospital to tuck me in for the night.
I woke up the next morning feeling kind of cranky and jittery. I don't know why. As it turns out, they gave me caffiene to make sure I didn't get too comfy and forget to breathe. Well, I wiggled and pushed up on my knees to baby rock and I turned my head from one side to the other and I flailed about with my arms and legs and then I flexed my hands into little fists and then straightened my fingers all the way out. And all the time I was breathing and fussing and all that sutff. My nurses were not too happy. I was not happy either. But, then Mommy and Daddy came and we all took naps together. I was getting very tired.
When we woke up from our naps. We all felt very good. I rested and slept some more. (It's what babies do.) And then, guess what I did . . . . .
That's right, I met my Mommy and cuddled in her arms. She's really big compared to me. It was scary at first and I cried. But, then I heard that familiar thumpety thump and settled right in so that Mommy would hold me very still. Daddy took my picture with his phone. Then, I needed to go back to my little world. Remember, I am still very little and can get over stimulated easily. (Can you say caffiene drip?)
I can't believe I can do so many big things. I wonder what other nice things will happen to me. In the last three days, I drank Mommy's milk, made a dirty diaper, re-learned how to breathe, graduated to CPAP and was held in Mommy's arms all for the first time. I think that's a full schedule. Time to sleep, I am exhausted.
Sunday, June 3, 2007
15 Days Old - What A Difference A Week Makes
I've had seven good days in a row, even my doctors say so. They say that maybe next week I may even become too boring and healthy for them to work on. I hope so cause maybe then they would let me sleep.
Big news for me today. My oxygen purity rate is currently 23% and it hasn't gone above 30% all day. Do you know that regular air is 21% oxygen? I am only 2%'s above that. My amplitude was reduced to 19 and the doctor says that really I am doing most of the breathing on my own. My O2 and CO2 exchange rates are in the normal zone and my saturation levels remain in the low 90's.
They reduced my drug drip by less than 10% and I am totally awake and wiggly now. Unfortunately, I tried to get up on my knees and baby rock while turning my head. I got in big trouble with my nurse who scolded me for moving too much which could have pulled out my vent tube. I was only trying to do what babies do. I didn't know; there sure are a lot of rules here.
So now, my nurse is holding me still so that I don't have to have more drugs to put me to sleep. I don't want more drugs because I might be graduating from ventilators and going directly to CPAP tonight or tomorrow. Mommy thinks I am too little and not ready for such a big step. My doctors and nurses think that Mommy is being too protective of me. I think I can do it and I know that the doctors and nurses will be right next to me if I have a problem. I hope that I can have a CPAP like Mommy, Uncle Kevin, Uncle Kelly and Aunt Inge. They all seem to like the CPAP very well. I will only need mine for a short time but I think it will be nice because then I can cry and fuss like babies do. I like being a baby.
P.S. I am getting really good at dirty diapers. All the food I am eating is doing the right stuff and I feel so good. Sorry, no pictures today, with less drugs and more wiggly-ness I can't be startled by the flash. I will work on pictures tommorrow.
Saturday, June 2, 2007
14 Days Old - For Tante Marion
Time to play hide and seek. Can you see me? Do you know where I am hiding? No fair. You have been playing this game longer than I have. Yes, that is me under my womb blanket. Isn't it nice that people made this blanket for me before they even knew I was coming? I am glad that Mommy and the Quilt Group are going to make these blankets for other babies who come early.
If you know me, you know I have a Tante Marion. She works in hospitals and understands all of my breathing numbers. So, here is a special message for her. I am on a oscillating ventilator. They just decreased my MAP from 14.0 to 11.0. I started with an amplitude of 41 and now I am down to 28. My oxygen purity is currently in the 50's regularly but I still can't stand it lower than 38. I spike after each cluster care because I don't like it when they wake me up and do that medical stuff. But, I can usually calm myself down and get back in my zone. My sat rate is between 85% and 95%. And, I don't have many A's and B's (apneas and bradys) currently. My suctioning yielded very little of white to clear fluid. Nancy says I am very normal on the normal baby scale for lung secretions now.
Dr. Conrad is talking about graduating me to a more conventional vent next week. I hope I can deal with it. Sounds a little scary to me. I can't believe I am doing so well after last weekend when I wasn't doing very well at all.
Guess what I just did ? Yep. My first dirty diaper. I am so proud of me.P.S. Mommy promised not to scare me by taking my picture today. Maybe I will let Mommy take a picture of part of me tommorrow.
Friday, June 1, 2007
13 Days Old - Delicious Stuff
Hey, why didn't anyone tell me this new food would be so delicious? I really like it. I've been sipping on it since 8:00 this morning. I feel so good and so sleepy. Mmmmm.
If you don't touch me and don't take my picture today, that would be fine with me. I do like to hear you hum but very slow and very low songs only please. I like life in the slow lane.
Can you seen how nice and comfy my world is inside my artificial womb? I love my new mat with the pretty pink and the green apples. My womb blanket makes things just dark enough for my little eyes to open when I want to look around. But, I always close my eyes when it gets too bright. I don't want to hurt them, and I don't like the headache.
I think I'll just eat and snooze today. My oscillator was turned down again and it's getting to be very quiet in my room. Can you see my yellow ear muff? I love the quiet. My blood pressure is in the 30's and my oxygen saturation in still in the mid 80's to mid 90's. It's another good day for me. See you soon.
12 Days Old - No More Koolaid
Last night they took out my last umbilical line because it could get dangerous for me in a few days. I've been drinking "super-Koolaid" for the last twelve days instead of regular food. But now, I have to learn how to eat. Friday will be my first day of "Gut Training." Hopefully, I will like the new food and be able to drink a few drops. I'm going to start slow. I am still very little and do not want a tummy-ache. I have to eat in a special way for now but someday Mommy and I will have breakfast, lunch, dinner and several snacks together every day.
I really like my Mommy. She looks funny right now through my artifical womb. But, she hums very low so that I can tell it is her. I like to make my blood pressure go down when she hums so that she knows I like to hear her. I am still trying to remain calm when Daddy gets home, but I can't help myself. Daddy is so exciting and really funny to look at when I am waking up. I am working on controlling my excitable arms and legs. I am sorry if I kicked and ruined a picture by accident.
This weekend may be tough for me because now I have to learn how to breathe and eat and "the other stuff" (super-Koolaid was much easier). I hope my nurses don't mind changing my diapers. I hope I don't forget to breathe or something like that. It makes everyone so worried and then I feel bad too. Wish me luck.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
4 to 7 Days Old I am a Stage 1 Premie
My surroundings have suddenly changed. I’m struggling to breathe and to figure out where I am. I used to be in a warm, quiet place. Now I seem to be in a noisy, sometimes very bright, but warm bed. I can feel all sorts of soft tubes, in my throat, my belly button, and my arm. I just feel very tired and wish that everyone would leave me alone. I miss my mother’s heart beat, and I remember jumping up and down on her bladder. That was a great time! I could suck my thumb all the time as well as do loop-de-loops with my umbilical cord. My mother was providing me with everything, and now I think things are different.
Now, all my energy goes to keeping my heart rate and breathing regular. Sometimes, it seems that others know more about these things than I do. A monitor tracks my heart rate and my respiratory rate very carefully. If I miss a beat, the monitor alarms, and everyone rushes to my bedside. My breathing machine can be set for a variety of settings, pressures and rates. The percentage of oxygen is measured constantly on my pulse oximeter. My blood pressure is also graphed on my monitor screen.
You can come and visit me, but you need to remember these things about me:
Calm and Quiet - I’m dreaming of floating around in my mother’s belly. I couldn’t hear much in there. I was surprised with this change. I’m used to sleeping most of the time, probably 20-22 hours a day. I know the doctors and nurses have to check on me, but gosh, nobody messed with me at all in the womb!
Cluster Care - It helps if all my disturbances are grouped together. When they are over, I just want to go back to sleep. I would love to talk more with you. I wish I could tolerate being held, but I just don’t have the energy for it. I hope you understand, and believe me, we’ll make up for it later. I know I’ll be feeling better soon. If you find out from my nurse the next planned care, maybe you can hold my hand or support my feet. A quiet hand on my bottom might support me while changing my position.
Comfortable Positioning - It is hard to find a comfortable position. I need help. I may need blanket rolls around me for boundaries. I may breathe easier on my belly but need help turning my head to the side. On my side, I need a blanket behind me to support my back. I am used to being in a tucked position, but I don’t seem to have the strength to maintain it here. I like being warm and secure in a nest because it is more like inside my Mommy. I think I like to be swaddled, but usually the nurses want to see more of my body. Hopefully soon, I can be loosely swaddled. I guess I’ll have to wait and see.
Slow and relaxed movements - I’m really not in any big hurry to have anything happen very quickly. As a matter of fact, everything seems to give me a headache. I want to live my life in the slow lane for a while, just to catch up. I don’t really like loud talking, or sudden noises, or even flash bulbs. But I do like my picture taken! If you can turn down those bright lights shining in my face, please do!
I really can’t handle a lot of activity all at once, talking, moving, or eating. I like just one activity at a time, please. I hope I can learn to do more things at once when I get older. Looking at you, and hearing you right now, is way over my head. I just want to be quiet and sleep. How about just watching me for a while?
Listen to me - You may notice I’m not crying much. I don’t have enough energy and the soft tube in my throat makes it hard to make any noise. I’m going to wait until some of these tubes go away before I make much noise. I may thrash around a lot if no one listens to me. Believe me, I would rather be calm and quiet.
Watch my numbers - My heart rate may start to race, to go really fast if something is bothering or annoying me. The nurses try to watch closely as they perform certain activities so they can slow things down if my heart rate goes up too much. My normal heart rate is 120-160 beats per minute. My heart rate may also slow down. If I forget to breathe or get upset or sick of something, my heart rate may drop. I may have had a brady (drop in my heart rate) and the nurses need to watch closely to be sure I pull my heart rate back up again. If I am having A’s and B’s (apneas and bradycardias), the nurses need to watch me very closely. If I hold my breath, or have an apnea spell, my pulse oximeter will drop. The nurse may have to bump up my oxygen level to keep my blood saturated with oxygen.
Now, all my energy goes to keeping my heart rate and breathing regular. Sometimes, it seems that others know more about these things than I do. A monitor tracks my heart rate and my respiratory rate very carefully. If I miss a beat, the monitor alarms, and everyone rushes to my bedside. My breathing machine can be set for a variety of settings, pressures and rates. The percentage of oxygen is measured constantly on my pulse oximeter. My blood pressure is also graphed on my monitor screen.
You can come and visit me, but you need to remember these things about me:
Calm and Quiet - I’m dreaming of floating around in my mother’s belly. I couldn’t hear much in there. I was surprised with this change. I’m used to sleeping most of the time, probably 20-22 hours a day. I know the doctors and nurses have to check on me, but gosh, nobody messed with me at all in the womb!
Cluster Care - It helps if all my disturbances are grouped together. When they are over, I just want to go back to sleep. I would love to talk more with you. I wish I could tolerate being held, but I just don’t have the energy for it. I hope you understand, and believe me, we’ll make up for it later. I know I’ll be feeling better soon. If you find out from my nurse the next planned care, maybe you can hold my hand or support my feet. A quiet hand on my bottom might support me while changing my position.
Comfortable Positioning - It is hard to find a comfortable position. I need help. I may need blanket rolls around me for boundaries. I may breathe easier on my belly but need help turning my head to the side. On my side, I need a blanket behind me to support my back. I am used to being in a tucked position, but I don’t seem to have the strength to maintain it here. I like being warm and secure in a nest because it is more like inside my Mommy. I think I like to be swaddled, but usually the nurses want to see more of my body. Hopefully soon, I can be loosely swaddled. I guess I’ll have to wait and see.
Slow and relaxed movements - I’m really not in any big hurry to have anything happen very quickly. As a matter of fact, everything seems to give me a headache. I want to live my life in the slow lane for a while, just to catch up. I don’t really like loud talking, or sudden noises, or even flash bulbs. But I do like my picture taken! If you can turn down those bright lights shining in my face, please do!
I really can’t handle a lot of activity all at once, talking, moving, or eating. I like just one activity at a time, please. I hope I can learn to do more things at once when I get older. Looking at you, and hearing you right now, is way over my head. I just want to be quiet and sleep. How about just watching me for a while?
Listen to me - You may notice I’m not crying much. I don’t have enough energy and the soft tube in my throat makes it hard to make any noise. I’m going to wait until some of these tubes go away before I make much noise. I may thrash around a lot if no one listens to me. Believe me, I would rather be calm and quiet.
Watch my numbers - My heart rate may start to race, to go really fast if something is bothering or annoying me. The nurses try to watch closely as they perform certain activities so they can slow things down if my heart rate goes up too much. My normal heart rate is 120-160 beats per minute. My heart rate may also slow down. If I forget to breathe or get upset or sick of something, my heart rate may drop. I may have had a brady (drop in my heart rate) and the nurses need to watch closely to be sure I pull my heart rate back up again. If I am having A’s and B’s (apneas and bradycardias), the nurses need to watch me very closely. If I hold my breath, or have an apnea spell, my pulse oximeter will drop. The nurse may have to bump up my oxygen level to keep my blood saturated with oxygen.
I’m just warning you about these things, so that you won’t be surprised when the nurses start buzzing around you to fix these things. Believe me, I was!
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
10 Days Old - I'm Feeling Much Better
I love my ventilator. It is very tasty and comforting to me. I understand that my thumb will be even better. I love it when Mommy puts her pinky in my hand and lets me squeeze it until I feel better. 
Well, I have to tell on myself that I gave Mommy and Daddy and the doctors and nurses some really big scares and worries over the weekend. I had to have my oxygen up to 100% and my other numbers did not look too good. I was fussy and I didn't feel good either. All anyone could do was "press me" and suction out my lung secretions. I was feeling really low. So were Mommy and Daddy.
But, since then, I've had 2 really good days for me and 1 medium to good day today. I've gotten 3 fabuluous blood gas results in a row and 1 perfect blood glucouse result. And, apparently, I have a very beautiful picture of my insides from today.
About today, it turns out that gaining weight is not always so good for you. I was getting "puffy" and my nurse decided to give me medication to help get rid of excess water. Well, my diapers are getting quite wet and heavy now. But, my blood pressure is getting lower which helps my red blood cells which helps my lungs and a bunch of other stuff. So now I am sleeping on my back (I hate that.) and only using 55% oxygen. Do you know how much oxygen you use every day?
I have to rest now, Uncle Kelly and Daddy are coming to visit me. I get very excited when Daddy talks to me. I hope I can stay calm so that Daddy and I can spend more time together tonight.
Friday, May 25, 2007
What Happened ?
On Friday, May 18th Mommy had back spasms. On Saturday, May 19th, I was born.
Mommy planned on having every complication during pregnancy, but we were doing great and just passed a whole bunch of tests. Then, in less than one week, Mommy had several big bad infections that started to attack me in the womb. My two doctors knew something was wrong and ordered three tests to see if my world was still safe from the infection monster. Each test came back saying everything was fine. But, my two doctors didn't believe the results, so they filled my world with blue dye to see if my bag of waters had ruptured. While they were filling my world with blue dye, one doctor placed her hand on Mommy and it hurt. The doctor took an ultrasound peek at the sore spot and found a placental tear. Then, a few minutes later, the blue dye started to leak out of my world. We had two really big problems. It was time to leave my world inside of Mommy because it was unsafe for me. I had to get away from the infection monster.
I was born at 27 weeks and 5 days. I am a now a Stage 1 Premature baby. I am not like all the other premature babies you know. I'd like to tell you about me. But, right now, I want to sleep.
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