4 to 7 Days Old I am a Stage 1 Premie

My surroundings have suddenly changed. I’m struggling to breathe and to figure out where I am. I used to be in a warm, quiet place. Now I seem to be in a noisy, sometimes very bright, but warm bed. I can feel all sorts of soft tubes, in my throat, my belly button, and my arm. I just feel very tired and wish that everyone would leave me alone. I miss my mother’s heart beat, and I remember jumping up and down on her bladder. That was a great time! I could suck my thumb all the time as well as do loop-de-loops with my umbilical cord. My mother was providing me with everything, and now I think things are different. Now, all my energy goes to keeping my heart rate and breathing regular. Sometimes, it seems that others know more about these things than I do. A monitor tracks my heart rate and my respiratory rate very carefully. If I miss a beat, the monitor alarms, and everyone rushes to my bedside. My breathing machine can be set for a variety of settings, pressures and rates. The percentage of oxygen is measured constantly on my pulse oximeter. My blood pressure is also graphed on my monitor screen. You can come and visit me, but you need to remember these things about me: Calm and Quiet - I’m dreaming of floating around in my mother’s belly. I couldn’t hear much in there. I was surprised with this change. I’m used to sleeping most of the time, probably 20-22 hours a day. I know the doctors and nurses have to check on me, but gosh, nobody messed with me at all in the womb! Cluster Care - It helps if all my disturbances are grouped together. When they are over, I just want to go back to sleep. I would love to talk more with you. I wish I could tolerate being held, but I just don’t have the energy for it. I hope you understand, and believe me, we’ll make up for it later. I know I’ll be feeling better soon. If you find out from my nurse the next planned care, maybe you can hold my hand or support my feet. A quiet hand on my bottom might support me while changing my position. Comfortable Positioning - It is hard to find a comfortable position. I need help. I may need blanket rolls around me for boundaries. I may breathe easier on my belly but need help turning my head to the side. On my side, I need a blanket behind me to support my back. I am used to being in a tucked position, but I don’t seem to have the strength to maintain it here. I like being warm and secure in a nest because it is more like inside my Mommy. I think I like to be swaddled, but usually the nurses want to see more of my body. Hopefully soon, I can be loosely swaddled. I guess I’ll have to wait and see. Slow and relaxed movements - I’m really not in any big hurry to have anything happen very quickly. As a matter of fact, everything seems to give me a headache. I want to live my life in the slow lane for a while, just to catch up. I don’t really like loud talking, or sudden noises, or even flash bulbs. But I do like my picture taken! If you can turn down those bright lights shining in my face, please do! I really can’t handle a lot of activity all at once, talking, moving, or eating. I like just one activity at a time, please. I hope I can learn to do more things at once when I get older. Looking at you, and hearing you right now, is way over my head. I just want to be quiet and sleep. How about just watching me for a while? Listen to me - You may notice I’m not crying much. I don’t have enough energy and the soft tube in my throat makes it hard to make any noise. I’m going to wait until some of these tubes go away before I make much noise. I may thrash around a lot if no one listens to me. Believe me, I would rather be calm and quiet. Watch my numbers - My heart rate may start to race, to go really fast if something is bothering or annoying me. The nurses try to watch closely as they perform certain activities so they can slow things down if my heart rate goes up too much. My normal heart rate is 120-160 beats per minute. My heart rate may also slow down. If I forget to breathe or get upset or sick of something, my heart rate may drop. I may have had a brady (drop in my heart rate) and the nurses need to watch closely to be sure I pull my heart rate back up again. If I am having A’s and B’s (apneas and bradycardias), the nurses need to watch me very closely. If I hold my breath, or have an apnea spell, my pulse oximeter will drop. The nurse may have to bump up my oxygen level to keep my blood saturated with oxygen.

I’m just warning you about these things, so that you won’t be surprised when the nurses start buzzing around you to fix these things. Believe me, I was!

10 Days Old - I'm Feeling Much Better

I love my ventilator. It is very tasty and comforting to me. I understand that my thumb will be even better. I love it when Mommy puts her pinky in my hand and lets me squeeze it until I feel better. Well, I have to tell on myself that I gave Mommy and Daddy and the doctors and nurses some really big scares and worries over the weekend. I had to have my oxygen up to 100% and my other numbers did not look too good. I was fussy and I didn't feel good either. All anyone could do was "press me" and suction out my lung secretions. I was feeling really low. So were Mommy and Daddy. But, since then, I've had 2 really good days for me and 1 medium to good day today. I've gotten 3 fabuluous blood gas results in a row and 1 perfect blood glucouse result. And, apparently, I have a very beautiful picture of my insides from today. About today, it turns out that gaining weight is not always so good for you. I was getting "puffy" and my nurse decided to give me medication to help get rid of excess water. Well, my diapers are getting quite wet and heavy now. But, my blood pressure is getting lower which helps my red blood cells which helps my lungs and a bunch of other stuff. So now I am sleeping on my back (I hate that.) and only using 55% oxygen. Do you know how much oxygen you use every day? I have to rest now, Uncle Kelly and Daddy are coming to visit me. I get very excited when Daddy talks to me. I hope I can stay calm so that Daddy and I can spend more time together tonight.

What Happened ?

On Friday, May 18th Mommy had back spasms. On Saturday, May 19th, I was born. Mommy planned on having every complication during pregnancy, but we were doing great and just passed a whole bunch of tests. Then, in less than one week, Mommy had several big bad infections that started to attack me in the womb. My two doctors knew something was wrong and ordered three tests to see if my world was still safe from the infection monster. Each test came back saying everything was fine. But, my two doctors didn't believe the results, so they filled my world with blue dye to see if my bag of waters had ruptured. While they were filling my world with blue dye, one doctor placed her hand on Mommy and it hurt. The doctor took an ultrasound peek at the sore spot and found a placental tear. Then, a few minutes later, the blue dye started to leak out of my world. We had two really big problems. It was time to leave my world inside of Mommy because it was unsafe for me. I had to get away from the infection monster. I was born at 27 weeks and 5 days. I am a now a Stage 1 Premature baby. I am not like all the other premature babies you know. I'd like to tell you about me. But, right now, I want to sleep.